16
Feb

The Power of Tears

My body hates me. I'm allergic to everything and, if it isn't a big enough dose, I collect it until I have enough to ruin my week with a migraine or worse. Then I got Grave's Disease and double-vision, so now I wear an eye patch full time. It sucks.

I shopped for a long time and have tried many to find a patch that is comfortable and fits my lifestyle. It's a silly thing but, to be honest, most of the ones you find are more a part of a pirate costume than anything else. Also, I have eyelashes to die for and I need a full half-inch of blink clearance. Well maybe not a full half-inch I just love the full/half phrase like "I used the full half-hour" or "I ate that whole half-a-pie in one sitting."

Anyway, I found one on ebay listed as The World's Best Eye Patch and, as it turns out, they are pretty badass and I quote: "So I created my own. It is made out of silicone, is lightweight, doesn’t break down and get gummy like some vinyl ones do. With adjustable, replaceable elastic, this patch lasts for years. It does not absorb sweat and get discolored. A mishap with the ketchup bottle easily washes off. Paint splatter washes off. It holds up well in the rain and snow. Make-up, sun screen, cotton candy (from that kid in front of me at the parade), oil, grease, mud, and just plain, old, daily grime wash off with ease. "

I should point out at this point that part of my problem is I am allergic, at times, to my own sweat and tears and saliva, etc. Because I collect allergens I eventually exude them.

The Power of Tears

How screwed up is that and how screwed up is this? Apparently it can get pretty toxic because my tears are melting The World's Best Eye Patch. With my eye the way it is, it doesn't quite close all the way and it is really sensitive to light so it tears up quite often under there and pools in the corner a little. Slowly but surely, it is melting a hole there about the size of the tip of my thumb.

I don't really have a metaphor for the Power of Tears as per my clickbait title. It's just a thing. A thing that makes me crazy and sometimes makes me cry which makes it worse and you guys are who I talk to about that stuff. I see it all the time, folks saying "it's allergies" and sometimes "It's onions." It isn't funny. I prefer to be man enough to cry out loud on the internet if I want, without pseudo-pretending it is something else. Pseudo-pretending, is that a thing?

Either way, it is still the best patch I can find and I recommend it if you need one.
A++ would buy again!!111!!! It is indeed The World's Best Eye Patch.



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