This Is Why I Don't Wear Shoes

We had a delightful day. We saw that it might rain and I wanted to go up and make sure we didn't have any leaks so we spent the night at our new tiny home. Also... PUDDLE STOMPING! We got there late and camped out in the empty space. The couch is there and some chairs and we took up some food and champagne. We had ordered a new firepit since we had a tree take revenge on our last one and fall on it. It arrived just in time so we had that with us and some firewood. 

When I awakened in the morning and peeked out under the curtain from the sleeping bag on the floor (I let her have the couch), I was pleasantly surprised to see the first snowfall of the year was on the ground and in our oak trees. Quietly excited I tried to ease Wakitu into the day but as soon as I said "snow" she was up like she had heard the garbage truck at the neighbor's and realized she hadn't set the cans out yet. Camera in hand, happy tears on her face, we watched it snow until whatever wasn't suddenly was 2 inches deep in the powder.

I got up and made oatmeal and, since we had forgotten the blueberries, we used the apricot jam from our PBJs instead and it was soooo good, I made more. We cuddled up with some mimosas and my travel guitar. I sang her love songs and we watched the quail run around leaving little tiny footprints and making silly noises.

Being barefoot in the snow is one of my favorite things. The footprints are so out of place and well defined. Once they go numb you really don't feel the cold and if you come in a little before frostbite you get to keep your toes. That day I needed to unload a trailer, on gravel, in the snow and all the stuff was heavy, jagged or had nails sticking out of it. Being a dad I told my young-minded, invincible, self-righteous barefoot boyself to be safe and put on some big-boy shoes. I didn't listen at first but then I quickly realized how important my toes are in balancing my height while tipsy on champagne at altitude and decided to keep them.

So I put on my big-boy shoes and unloaded all the stuff that was trying to hurt me without incident, other than that I couldn't find a wrench! The ramp on the trailer has a bolt, a nut and a jesus pin to keep it from falling out. In the cold, the metal had somehow tightened that nut so tight I couldn't budge it. Failing to find a wrench, I had to partially unload the trade show booth box, off load it, fill it back up and wrestle the huge top onto it. This thing is a plastic box that measures 4' by 4' square and stands 5 feet tall. It's full of heavy panels that, when put together, make a trade show booth that fits an 8'x12' space. 

Man, it was cold. The ropes were frozen, the straps were frozen, all the metal had ice on it and was so cold you couldn't hold it in your bare hand very long. In and out to warm up and work I managed through the course of the delightful day to get it all done. If the hard way is the only way, well, here we are.

Approaching sunset we settled in and made some food, cuddled up again to watch it snow. Eventually... other stuff happened... and then I got up to get the rig ready for the ride home. Now I should preface this part of the story with the fact that this is our new home, we just bought it. As part of the sale, of course, you have the septic tank pumped and certified. Ours is in the driveway and he had to dig down to the two hatches, open the top, and pump it out, close it and put the dirt back. He did all that and all was well but then it rained. Unbeknownst to me, the rain had turned the two square holes of fresh dirt into soup. Though, from the surface, they looked like... snow.

Ok, so I back the trailer up and start reorienting the truck to go out the driveway being careful to stay where I remembered the gravel being under the snow. Sure enough, my left front tire hits one of those 2-foot square holes right in the middle as if I had aimed for it, sinking that tire up to the axle in soup. Now night, in the dark, in the snow at 30 degrees out, I start digging and rigging trying to get Mama's bigass truck and trailer out of the septic hole. This is not how I pictured our evening so I gave up, went inside, made more mimosas and we cuddled on the couch and watched the fire while waiting for our third triple-A guy in a less than a month. 

So, easy money guy shows up and we yack about my buddy BobbyD's cool new tow truck while he winches me back 3 feet. I pull forward and he drives out. Done deal. I roll up the driveway, spin the now empty trailer around and hook it up. No problem. I take two steps toward the door and step in the hole. It pulls my shoe off and I nearly go face down in the snow and now it's raining again and I am ice puddle stomping my way inside.


Had I been barefoot I would have had no problems. Barefoot makes you careful, years of barefoot makes you smarter about how you move stuff. Where to stand so if something happens you're out of the way. You learn how to move shit without kicking it. I never came near hurting my feet loading or unloading that thing. I never got close to hurting my feet while getting the truck stuck and digging in the mud with a random piece of angle iron and a 2x4 with a screw sticking out of it. I never burned them once on the fire pit. I came in often enough to not lose toes and I should have told that old man to STFU! As it was, I nearly face-planted in the snow and got my warm socks all wet. Then I had to go in and tell Wakitu what happened and wait for her to stop laughing long enough for us to pack up and leave. Had I been barefoot and seen it coming, knowing me, I probably would have jumped in that puddle with both feet and splashed poop soup up to my knees.

In what we thought was the topper for the adventure we had saved enough gas to make it to the gas station on the way down the hill. I had pretty much used that up with trip through the soup poop. Of course, by the time we got down the hill, it was closed and we had to coast miles down the hill to the next station on fumes to gas up and go home. When we got home, I offer my sweety my truck which is parked in the way as a way for her to not have to walk all the way down the driveway to get in.

We then learned that the adventure had one more jab. Guess what?

I can't find my keys. 

So, in the long run, she had to walk down the long driveway with all her stuff cause I left my truck in the way. Then I had to go out in the cold this morning and tear apart the truck til I found them so I could move my stupid truck and unload hers.

All in all, it was a delightful day.



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